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All About Me Writer Life

Received My First Book from the Editor/A Lesson in Hysteria

I am an emotional person.

For much of my childhood and early adulthood, I saw it as a weakness. You’re too sensitive, people would say. You need to get a thicker skin. Comments like these would inevitably send me into a spiral of depression and angst compounded by depression and angst that I was so susceptible to depression and angst. Super fun.

And then, I grew to see that my empathy and sensitivity was a real asset. I was able to put myself into other people’s shoes, resonate with their pain and struggles and offer them genuine words of comfort. And not just the bullshit throwaway lines of “Sorry you feel that way.” (Which, to be fair, given the right level of intonation and placement of hands gently caressing back, can be a thoughtful thing to say. When it’s done dismissively and with the slightest of eye rolls? Yeah, then you’re an asshole).

All About Me Writer Life Writing Process

Keeping Up Momentum

Writing has been transformative for me. Quite literally, having the goal to publish a book before I hit 30 has changed my life. It’s change the way I prioritize things, my relationships and the way I view myself. It’s shifted my goals and dreams for my life and sparked a flicker of hope when I most desperately needed it.

And for the last three months, I have been in monster mode. Without fail I have been on a strict schedule of daily 4:00am wake-ups, working til 6pm and then rushing home or to Starbucks to continue writing til 9 or 10pm. But because I was so singularly-focused, other things fell apart. My house got neglected, other goals I had were pushed aside and my husband threatened to get a mistress (though to be fair, he has been asking for one for years, so I don’t know if this one technically counts).

So I have been trying to strive for more balance and with that, means less time dedicated to my writing and the writing process. It sucks. I throw myself pity parties. How can I become a billionaire by thirty-five if I can’t focus on my writing? (Note: working in therapy on dreams vs. delusions. #WorkinProgress)

All About Me Writer Life

My Writer’s New Year’s Resolutions

Welcome to 2018! I am joining 42% of Americans this year in creating some New Year resolutions for myself as a writer. While I also have personal goals I would also like to achieve (hey Zumba DVD- I didn’t forget you!), I want to focus on developing as a writer and make some of those goals priorities in the coming year.

1. Write every day.

Yep, every day. Even 100 words. I’ve found that if I drop something, even for a few days, it is so much harder to jump back in. I want to make sure I commit even a quick edit into my writing each day to keep it alive and keep myself inspired.

2. Read more. 

As a kid, I was a voracious reader. And as time and life continued, my reading dwindled until one year I realized I hadn’t even read five books in a year. Five! I used to read five books easily in a week. Books were my escape and I was at the library at least once a week feeding my addiction. I also used to read every single genre from science fiction to biographies to historical nonfiction. Nothing was off-limits and I want to get back to that excited fervor of discovering a new book and also make sure I am focusing on reading across genres, and not just get stuck in the romance genre.

3. Meet more writers. 

Writing can be a really solitary and lonely process. It’s hard to explain to people and is also literally an activity that you do by yourself. My goal is to meet other writers for support and to talk about the craft and the process and build my community.

4. Create a better sense of balance. 

I am a passionate and extremely driven person. If I want something, I launch toward it at 1,000%. I can get pretty single-minded and focused so I would like to try to calm down a bit more and remember that there are other things in life. While writing does require sacrifice, I want to also make sure I spend time with those I love, take care of my body through exercise and forgo a Redbull or two in lieu of a decent night’s sleep.

5. Learn more. 

Learn everything. When you become a writer and make the decision to be self-published, everything falls on you. Marketing, editing, cover design… everything. And because I grew up with an entrepreneur as a father, I like to think I have some of that already in my blood. I like doing everything on my own and learning all I can. I inhale podcasts and am subscribed to dozens of newsletters and blogs. My goal is to continue learning everything I can to help make me the most successful writer and authorpreneur I can be.

 

Do any of you also have New Year resolutions for your writing? 

All About Me

29 Years Old: The 29 Most Important Lessons I’ve Learned So Far

Last week I turned 29 years old. It’s a big milestone considering next year I will officially be leaving my twenties and entering the much feared thirties.

Truthfully, my twenties haven’t been the most fantastic. I peaked around 23 and for the last couple of years have struggled a bit to find my place in the world. I don’t know if it is a struggle that really ever ends, either.

It has taken me a long time to appreciate that the struggles I have had in my life have lead me here. To put it in more eloquent terms: the shit I’ve lived through got me here, and I’m grateful for it. So without further ado, here are the 29 lessons I’ve learned in my first 29 years of life.

1. The terrible, heart-breaking moments in life are usually the ones that will change our lives for the better.

In 2011, I had my life plan set and determined: I was going to move to Chile with my best friend for a year, teach English and live out of a hostel. We would travel the world, spread our wild oats and make amazing memories. Instead, my friend bailed a week before the trip and I had to summon every inch of strength to get myself on that plane and push myself to do that trip solo. Eventually I ended up back home with no idea what to do with my life. That is when I ended up meeting my husband.